HOST:
Dear birthday boy!
Your fatigue will disappear
And life will become unctuous,
When will night come today?
Post-anniversary!
Meet, the night has already come,
I found time early!
(Post-Anniversary Night comes out - this is a woman in a blue cape with yellow stars, a headband with a yellow month on her head, she approaches the birthday boy and says):
I came from a good fairy tale,
Please, close your eyes,
Sit down more comfortably,
Enjoy the lullaby!
(the birthday boy is seated on a chair, he closes his eyes and listens to the lullaby sung by the Post-Anniversary Night, stroking the birthday boy’s head soothingly or soothingly patting him on the shoulder)
LULLABY:
(to the tune “Tired toys are sleeping, books are sleeping, blankets and pillows are waiting for the children”)
The tired birthday boy is sleeping
Expensive!
He celebrated his fifty dollars
On the day off!
Yes, and you are very tired,
You want to sleep, by the way!
Close your eyes
Bye, bye!
Birthday boy, honestly
On the rocks!
After all, you are everything that is edible,
They knew how!
He worked hard for a year
And I earned it for the holiday!
I fed you all
Got me drunk!
Don't skimp on the extra stacks
You tell him!
He's not drunk at all,
I don't understand!
To enjoy life
We need to stay in good shape!
Open your eyes
Have a drink!
(they bring a glass to the birthday boy)
Although it’s not evening yet,
But let's drink to our meeting!
On your beautiful anniversary
Pour me a shot too!
Scene for the anniversary of the man "Peddler"
HOST:
(sings a quatrain to the tune of the song “Peddlers”)
Oh, the box is full
The one who came to us!
He will offer the goods on a walker,
That's why he came in!
(The Peddler comes in - this is a man dressed in a shirt with a smart belt, in a cap with a flower, trousers tucked into boots, on his chest hangs a tray on which lies a chocolate medal, a comb, a comic bill, a rubber finger tip and tickets with the numbers of the prize product )
PEDDLER:
Is it really true
Is the Anniversary here today?!
So I'm back in business again
I'll offer him the product!
(approaches the Jubilee with his tray)
But my goods are encrypted,
I'm saying this straight out!
I'm savvy in this matter
And I love surprises myself!
However, I’ll tell you anyway,
What a secret I keep!
(takes goods from the tray one by one and, showing them to everyone, says what this product means if the hero of the day pulls it out):
There's a gold medal here -
If you choose her,
Life will be like this then...
You'll get a kick out of her!
If you choose a comb-
You'll be great in no time!
You will have a fashionable hairstyle
And as beautiful as a cucumber!
If you choose a bill,
I'll tell you then:
Your lip is not stupid
You will always be like this!
If you choose a remedy,
To protect yourself,
I will tell everyone without coquetry:
You will live happily!
And now I ask more boldly
Use your chance in the lottery!
Choose your number
And receive a gift!
(the hero of the day pulls out a number, the peddler repeats again what this gift means for the hero of the day, and then tells him):
I'm no businessman!
Hand won't rise
All the goods are beautiful
Don't give it to you from the tray!
So you take it all,
Remember me more often!
And for your birthday
I want to have a drink with you!
Sketch for the man's anniversary "Partner"
HOST:
Dear birthday boy, dear guests!
I don’t understand, maybe I’m in art,
Forgive me, friends, for this,
But I approve, God knows, of the presence
Ladies from the ballet are celebrating their anniversary!
(a very plump man runs out on tiptoe, comically dressed up as a ballerina, i.e. bare-chested, in a tutu, white socks and sneakers, a headband with a white feather on his head, he sings a song)
BALLERINA SONG
(to the tune “There is no better color when the apple tree blooms,
There is no better moment when my darling is walking”)
There's nothing better for ballet
Very small ballerinas!
But I don’t have the strength to carry me -
There is only one way out:
What will I wear?
All partners are on hand!
Then maybe I will
I'm in the lead roles!
To be my partner for the hero of the day
I wanted to have it!
Then we would be together
Fouette could twirl!
He turns me on so much
So it attracts me to itself,
That my soul is burning,
My whole soul is on fire!
(runs up on tiptoes to the hero of the day and kisses him)
HOST:
(addressing the ballerina)
We will ask the hero of the day
Let me dance with you!
(addresses the hero of the day):
Dear birthday boy!
Come out here quickly
Let's dance the swans dance!
Your partner is great!
You will make us happy!
(the hero of the day comes out and, together with the ballerina, dances, holding hands, the dance of little swans to the soundtrack, and if there is none, then the presenter herself will sing this famous melody)
HOST:
The birthday boy has a lot of talents,
But we opened another one!
For this we need to drink a little,
This is why we are all sitting here!
(they drink a toast to the talents of the birthday boy)
Sketch for a man's anniversary or birthday "Song of a non-drip faucet"
HOST:
Dear friends!
Our birthday boy master class!
He knows all the work!
And now he has a new guest
Dedicates confessions!
From all apartment plumbing
The non-drip faucet sings
And this guest is corporate
He won’t bend his soul!
(it turns out that the faucet is not dripping - this is a man who can have a large water tap tied to his belt in front)
SONG OF A NON-DRIPPING TAP
(to the tune of the song “We are not stokers, not carpenters”)
Not a fireman or a medic
You were born into this world, dear light!
And not even a plumber at all,
But that’s not a problem at all!
You know all the work at home,
You're a master at plumbing, too!
And you show concern
When suddenly something goes wrong!
Sorry, I often drip,
Mon cher ami, such is life, oh, life!
And no matter how big the salary
I can't run out of gaskets!
I am grateful to you, my dear,
Because I don’t walk around wet, I walk around!
And that’s why all day long
I hold the tap with a carrot!
And where, where is my little gram-
I want to congratulate you, you!
You are my savior, my salvation,
I tell you lovingly!
(they pour a glass for Kranik and he says a wish to the birthday boy)
WISH FROM THE TAP:
May everything be all right at home
And there will be plenty of money!
Excellent plumbing for you
And certainly happiness in life!
Sketch for an anniversary, a man’s birthday “Uninvited Guests”
(homeless Vanya and homeless woman Zina walk in with a cautious gait in poor clothes, knitted hats with holes on their heads, nets with empty bottles and a shoebox in their hands)
Zin! Look, what a miracle?
Everything is so clean and beautiful!
Apparently it's not in vain
We sneaked in on the sly!
Yes, Vanyushenka you are mine,
You and I are lucky!
We can already see from the garbage dumps
It will be very embarrassing to climb!
And look, this is the birthday boy,
Everything sparkles like fifty dollars!
He'll pour us a glass
Or, most likely, he will beat you!
ZINA (addressing the birthday boy):
Darling, don't swear,
Don't touch us with your hands!
Don’t look at our outfit -
We are good inside!
We, since this is the case,
We boldly give you a gift!
(takes out an empty bottle from the net and says):
Everything that is valuable to us
We will give it to you now!
If it gets a little tight,
And the salary will not help out -
Our crystal is always in price,
Believe me, my friend!
(gives an empty bottle and then says):
We do not suffer from stinginess,
We're giving you another gift!
(takes out a box from the net and takes out old holey slippers from it)
Picked up from a trash heap
We successfully have two sandals!
Don’t disdain, dress
Pour it one shot at a time!
(they give sandals and drink a glass, after which Zina, decisively waving her hand, says):
Okay, so be it
I can't shut up!
Since they didn’t kick us out of the drinking party,
Get your pants on!
(takes out family colorful underpants hidden in his bosom)
I wanted to give it to my husband
But we can see you will wear it!
(puts panties on the hero of the day and says):
The size is generally suitable,
You will look brilliant
In bed or on the beach!
I'm trembling with excitement!
Try them on now, dear friend,
And suddenly I was wrong!
(the hero of the day puts on underpants)
Well, thank God, everything is just right!
Let's drink to this again!
(glasses are poured and Vanya says a toast):
TOAST FROM UNINVITED GUESTS:
Live widely in Russian,
So that the crisis does not bother you!
Let's drink to this without any appetizers
A glass filled to the bottom!
Sketch for a man's anniversary or birthday "Turtle Song"
(Turtle comes out - a woman in large dark glasses, in a summer hat and with a basin - this is her shell. She lies on her left side on the floor, covered with a basin, resting her chin with her left hand, as if on the beach, and sings a song to the birthday boy)
SONG OF THE TURTLE
(to the tune of the cartoon turtle song)
I'm lying in the sun
And I look at Vovochka,
I just lie and lie
And I look at Vovochka!
I see Lyudochka sitting
And he’s watching Vovochka,
Everything is watching and watching,
Spoils Vova's appetite!
I see he is sitting and not drinking,
All dignity watches,
People, don't touch him
Let him do whatever he wants!
Today he is the hero of the day,
Repeal prohibition!
Your Vova is so good
You won't find anything better in the world!
Yes, and the guests are good,
They gobble it up with all their hearts!
I'm just lying there
I'm just following the process!
Everyone is sitting so modestly
They don't lie under tables,
I'm lying here alone
And I look soberly!
The guests hit everything,
They lean on the salad,
I'm just lying there
I’m just looking at the salad!
I see everyone is drinking vodka,
Yes, they chew cucumbers,
I'm just lying there
And I’m looking at the vodka!
Maybe they'll give it to me
And they will give you snacks,
And then I look here
I'll go on an empty stomach!
(they bring her a drink and a snack, before drinking, the Turtle finishes singing):
I'm holding a glass in my hands,
So now I’ll say a toast!
Always be young
Dear birthday boy!
Impromptu sketch with guests “In a certain kingdom, in a certain state...”
SKETCH – IMPROMPT WITH GUESTS “IN A SOME KINGDOM, IN A SOME STATE” FOR A MAN’S ANNIVERSARY
HOST:
Dear guests! Now you and I, with the direct participation of our beloved birthday boy, will try to put on a small performance! You will each choose a role for yourself, except for the birthday boy and his beloved wife - I will assign a role for them myself. I will read the script - this comic tale, and you, already knowing your role, will have to depict your actions with humor and make sounds if necessary.
(the presenter invites the guests to draw a ticket with a role, and the birthday boy and his wife herself assign the role of the king and queen; you need to prepare the crown for the king and queen in advance)
ROLES FROM THE FAIRY TALE:
TSAR
QUEEN
SERVANT BLOWING AWAY DUST
SERVANT BRINGING A GLASS
SERVANT TURNING TO BED
OFONASY – MASSAGE PROVIDER
KANGAROO MARSPAL (for this role, hang the bag in front)
GOOSE
CAT – PURSK
MOUSE
THE DOG BARBOS
SPARROW
HOST:
So let's begin! I will ask all participants to come out in a circle! I will read a fairy tale in which the king and queen are naturally our dear birthday boy and his beautiful life partner, and you, dear guests, do not forget to play your roles!
In what region - it is unknown, in what year - the king and his queen lived unheard of!
(they wear crowns on the birthday boy and his wife)
And that king had many different servants:
one servant blew away specks of dust and hair from him in the morning, another brought him a glass for dinner, and a third put him to sleep and rocked him to sleep! But that king had a favorite servant - Ofonasiy the massage therapist. He was very pleasing to the Tsar-Father, because he brought many pleasant minutes with his sophisticated massages! The king only shivered and squealed with pleasure! And after a pleasant massage, he always brought a glass to the diligent servant, and sometimes he himself used it for brotherhood with him for the coming sleep. What to do! You need to keep your body in good shape, because his queen was very young and frisky! The Tsar Father loved her so much! I pampered myself with various sweets and overseas dishes! Either he would kiss her rosy cheek, or he would hug her tightly, but what can I say - he carried her in his arms all day, and did not allow anyone else to do this, except perhaps his beloved servant - Ofonasy! In general, they lived amicably, there is nothing to say, and they had a lot of good things on the farm, they didn’t need all kinds of living creatures!
Marsupial kangaroo - the king hid a stash from the queen in her bag!
The clawed goose walked so importantly, and ga-ha-ha shouted its own incessantly, everyone was tired of it!
Well, they also had newborn animals! The cat Purr - from morning to evening he washed himself and maintained the acid-base balance in his body, so he didn’t catch mice, he was consuming Kitikat for a long time!
And even the Dog Barbos - he was running around and sniffing around, wanting to eat something!
In general, they kept a large animal, the only small one was a visiting sparrow - it kept jumping and chirping, but he didn’t know what he was chirping!
The king had a happy life, God forbid everyone!
And our fairy tale is over, well done to those who played in it!
Scene for the man's anniversary "Postman Pechkin"
HOST:
Dear birthday boy! A new guest has come to our holiday and he is already knocking on the doorstep!
(there is a knock on the door)
HOST:
Who's there?
ANSWER FROM BEHIND THE DOOR:
It's me, postman Pechkin! I brought telegrams for your birthday boy!
(postman Pechkin comes out with a mail bag containing telegrams
the birthday boy is wearing a hat with floppy ears on his head, like in a cartoon)
I'm mean by nature, actually.
Especially when I walk
But something didn't stop me
Come to the hero of the day's house today!
I appreciated the solemnity of the moment,
Threw away his harmfulness at the same hour,
I brought telegrams of compliments
For the hero of the day! I'll read them now!
(reads telegrams from celebrities):
I'll tell you, my friend, without laughing -
You are just super, just great!
On your anniversary Edita Piekha
Congratulates you with love!
You look like a real macho!
The male reflex is in full swing in you!
And that's great, otherwise
I wouldn’t write... (Grigory Leps)
You always look for talent in yourself
And there will be happiness, I give you my word!
And my word is a guarantor!
(With big greetings Alla Pugacheva!)
You are full, just like me,
Humor, ingenuity!
They say you are in your dreams
Make jokes like Galkin!
Always be like this!
(With respect Maxim).
You, my friend, have a Bulgarian flavor:
I'm used to working until it stops!
Handsome, smart, hot, always shaved!
That's why I love you! (Philip Kirkorov)
You are a young boy, no more,
A darling like me!
Basque Kolya sent you greetings.
Do not be discouraged, my soul!
(After reading the telegrams, Pechkin says):
Well, I have fulfilled my duty,
It's time to row back
But if someone filled the glass,
I would be very happy to have a drink!
(Pechkin is poured a glass and he makes a toast to the hero of the day):
Congratulations to the hero of the day,
I wish you happiness and joy!
In Prostokvashino to me
Come as if you were visiting family!
Scene for celebrating an anniversary or birthday "Landmarks for the apartment"
HOST:
Dear birthday boy, a representative of the state alcohol inspectorate, Senior Lieutenant Pokhmelkin, came to our holiday! And he did not come empty-handed! Meet our dear guest!
(Pokhmelkin comes out wearing a cap on which “State Alcohol Inspectorate” is written in large letters, in his hands he has 4 comic road signs)
POKHMELKIN:
I wish you good health, birthday citizen!
So that you don't get lost,
Know everything around the apartment,
Can be very useful
These signs, dear friend!
(shows comic signs drawn one by one and explains their meaning):
CAUTION SIGN CHILDREN CAN APPEAR HERE!”
(bed is drawn)
SIGNS “YOU ARE GOING ON THE RIGHT ROAD, COMRADE!”
(there are 2 of them, on one there is a toilet, on the other there is a bathtub, he gives at the same time)
Position indicators
To choose the right direction!
So that you don't get lost when you're asleep,
They weren't looking for a bath in the closet!
“PEASURING STATION” SIGN
(a fork and a spoon are drawn)
You will find some cool snacks here,
Everything you'll be happy to eat!
Just open the cabinet in the kitchen
Or take a look at the refrigerator!
SIGN “DO NOT TURN!”
(a sofa and a TV are drawn)
Set for contemplation,
For a break from all the problems,
This is where you will lie down
Not disturbed by anyone!
(after giving all the signs he says):
POKHMELKIN:
So, dear birthday boy, now you will feel completely safe at home! And on this occasion I want to say a toast:
I wish everything goes well!
Let your home be bright and cozy!
And so that you never go astray,
I hope the signs come in handy!
Scene for the anniversary celebration "Italian Guest"
HOST:
Dear birthday boy, dear guests! Signor Nachihante came to us for the holiday from sunny Italy with his translator. No problem! Greet them with thunderous applause!
(an Italian comes out, wearing fashionable black glasses, a beautiful scarf thrown over his shoulder around his neck, in his hands a suitcase in which pasta is hidden, he came with a translator)
ITALIAN:
Ciao cocoa, jubilee grows up!
TRANSLATOR:
Hello, dear hero of the day!
ITALIAN:
Ciao cocoa, sesdanto parasite!
TRANSLATOR:
Hello, dear guests!
ITALIAN:
Italiano tourist, immoral appearance!
TRANSLATOR:
I came to you from sunny Italy!
ITALIAN:
Creeped diversanto passportino lost!
TRANSLATOR:
My path was long and difficult!
ITALIAN:
TRANSLATOR:
But I’m cheerful and cheerful and brought a whole suitcase of gifts!
ITALIAN:
Amore mia!
TRANSLATOR:
Dear hero of the day!
ITALIAN:
Signore guestione free!
TRANSLATOR:
Dear guests!
ITALIAN:
Macarone na ushanto mon señore navesanto!
TRANSLATOR:
Listen to me carefully!
ITALIAN:
Bravissimo spaghetti! The stomach is purring in the morning!
TRANSLATOR:
The most satisfying food is Italian spaghetti!
ITALIAN:
Neotdanto nizachtone italiano macaroni!
TRANSLATOR:
Therefore, I am happy to give the birthday boy a pack of Italian spaghetti!
(gives a pack of spaghetti)
ITALIAN:
Neprosinte beg nizachtonte neodamo!
TRANSLATOR:
I don’t feel at all sorry to give everything I have!
ITALIAN:
Wish you a great anniversary!
Don't worry about a hangover in the morning!
TRANSLATOR:
I wish the hero of the day good health!
ITALIAN:
Pozhelanto jubilyaro kapustyano doloranto!
TRANSLATOR:
I also wish that there will always be a lot, a lot of money!
ITALIAN:
Oprokinto nemeshanto un momento free!
TRANSLATOR:
If they offer me a drink for the hero of the day, I will not refuse!
Sketch for a man's anniversary "Congratulations from a lightly salted cucumber"
HOST:
Congratulate the birthday boy
The brave fellow is eager!
Let me introduce you:
Lightly salted cucumber!
(a man comes out dressed as a cucumber, i.e. he has a long green cap on his head, a bindweed made of artificial leaves can be hung on his neck, he sings a song to the hero of the day):
SONG OF SIGHTLY SALTED CUCUMBER:
(to the tune “Let pedestrians run clumsily through the puddles”):
You sit like a cucumber
And a beautiful suit
You put it on this morning!
Celebrating your birthday
You invite everyone to the table,
So it’s time for me to sing a song!
I'm a pickled cucumber
I'm standing here on my birthday
And I sing like a weakling,
Your own song!
You are beautiful and so am I!
You and I are alike
Just like two peas in a pod!
Have a snack, in Russian
There's no better snack -
Without me, there’s no way!
I'm a pickled cucumber
I'm standing here on my birthday
And I sing like a weakling,
Your own song!
I wish you
On this anniversary day
Be well done always and everywhere!
And of course I wish
You will fulfill it, I know
May you always hold on like a cucumber!
I'm a pickled cucumber
I'm standing here on my birthday
And I sing like a weakling,
Your own song!
Dear birthday boy!
On your wonderful birthday
I give you pickles!
(gives funny gift– a small jar of cucumbers)
Anniversary skit "New Russian grandmothers"
HOST:
Dear hero of the day, dear guests! The always welcome, cheerful New Russian grandmothers came to visit us! Let's greet them with thunderous applause!
(two men dressed up as grandmothers come out and take turns performing ditties)
I fell in love with the hero of the day,
It's breathtaking!
Don't look, my friend, that I'm old,
I'm a cool young man!
You, my friend, forgot to know,
What a year you are!
Look how much you messed up
Sand is falling from behind!
Don't scold me, friend,
Don't envy me for nothing!
And I will find you a friend,
Grandfather, to put it simply!
Why am I an old grandfather?
I'm younger than you!
Maybe he'll give you a compliment
My birthday too!
Oh, let's not argue
On this holiday!
He doesn’t want to quarrel us at all
Our hero of the day, boy!
Our dear hero of the day,
We are all glad to see you!
Have a drink with you
Rewards are more important to us!
SINGING TOGETHER:
Congratulations, congratulations,
We will not tire of congratulating you!
And we wish you everything
Never get tired!
Sketch of congratulations for a birthday or anniversary
CONGRATULATIONS FROM THE ESSENTIAL ITEM - IRON.
(Congratulates a man dressed up as an iron. For example, you can attach a long cord with a plug to his back)
Dear birthday girl!
I fell in love with you, my friend,
Seriously hot!
Let me stroke you
I will smooth out all your problems!
(approaches the birthday girl to stroke her)
And now I will give advice,
You’ll give me a drink for this later!
So that life goes smoothly,
You need to have fun!
And to be smooth,
The husband is obliged to fatten!
To make life sweeter,
Stroke your husband's back more often!
And for ironing and ironing
Take me as your girlfriend!
To smooth out the situation,
We need to settle everything peacefully!
The anniversary went smoothly
We need a drink for order!
Eh! While I was talking
It's cooled down a little!
Hold me now
I'm warm, believe me!
(the birthday girl hugs the iron)
Now accept your gifts
Pour us a glass each!
Sketch "Fortune telling on a magic egg" for the anniversary
(a gypsy comes out with a bag in which fortune telling eggs are hidden - kinder surprises, their number according to the number of guests or one for the hero of the day, if it is an anniversary)
GYPSY:
Look your fate in the face
I'll give you the opportunity
Let everyone choose an egg
Forgetting about the title and position!
To what's hidden inside
Take a closer look
I'll help you solve it,
What will happen next year!
(each person in turn, or one hero of the day, takes an egg out of the bag, breaks the peel, and the gypsy impromptu guesses from the contents of the kinder surprise)
BIRTHDAY SKETCH “DONNA ROSA FROM BRAZIL”
(she has a curly wig and a hat on her head, in her left hand is a small handbag with a bottle of vodka sticking out of it, in her right hand is a gift - a bouquet of health, these are various fruits and vegetables pinned on twigs. It’s funnier if a man is dressed up)
From sunny Brazil
I will give you a gift!
I ask everyone to have a drink,
I want to give a speech!
It's your birthday
It looks just great!
And that's why now
I will give her this order:
For good health
She lasted for 100 years
It is necessary to fulfill the condition -
Eat the bouquet with gusto!
Everything in the bouquet is mine!
I'll tell you about him:
Apple - may you always be like this pouring apple!
Pear - and these, my dear, are sweet pears for eyes to see and ears to hear!
Carrots - I don’t mind sweet carrots for you, so that you never frown!
Onion - and this is a Brazilian onion for you, so that no one can bring you to tears!
I give you a banana, as a guarantee of sexual opportunities, so that there are no difficulties!
Dear birthday girl, I invite you to Brazil! There are a lot of wild monkeys in our forests.
And, by the way, they have favorite dish- banana!
SKETCH – CONGRATULATIONS FROM AN INDIGENOUS RESIDENT OF CHUKOTKA:
(he has a shaggy hat on his head, fur on his shoulders, speaks with a Chukchi accent)
In our camp, however,
Every dog knows
What is Jubilee-
That's a lot of guests!
So that everyone has enough
I wish it were:
Lots of fish, venison,
Bread and butter, sturgeon,
And, of course, milk!
Well, that's all for now!
Oh! However, I forgot
Didn't hand over the document!
On behalf of our entire camp, I present the birthday girl with a perpetual License for the right to hunt for any man she likes, as well as permission to catch them with a fishing rod and shoot them with her eyes!
Sketch "Leader of the Savages" for the anniversary and retirement
Presenter: Dear birthday boy! From far, far away islands lost in the ocean, a leader of savages named Kakbudtone-everyone has come to you for your anniversary. He arrived not alone, but with one of his beloved wives. As if everyone else really wants to congratulate you and give you a gift from his tribe.
Meet our dear guests!
(the leader of the savages comes out with his wife - these are two dressed up men, one of whom is taller and healthier than the other - this is the leader’s beloved wife. Both are wearing curly black wigs, loincloths with a bare torso. The leader has a large ring in his nose, colored clothespins on his ears , wearing funny panties. The man-wife is wearing artificial breasts from a joke store, or just a bra. Both have large bright beads on their necks that can be made from bottle caps. The leader’s wife periodically asks her husband for permission to kiss the birthday boy: “Darling, “Can I kiss him.” And the leader, interrupting his speech, answers her “Padazhda, looking for a wound”).
Leader (speaks broken Russian):
Gift to the birthday boy (NAME)
- 2185 moons have passed since you killed us with your destruction! (count how many days ago the birthday boy was born)
“And today you’re plundering your life and, I don’t care about this word, you’re going to get a pension.”
- We don’t know what a pension is, but they told us that it’s a big deal: whether you want a hard worker or a vacationer.
- Looking for Miklouho-Maclay, she told us: “A hard worker is not a wolf, not a runaway into the jungle.”
- So we live in the type of strong savage health, we rest more and travel better, better than a savage, wakes up cheaper.
- And patam mi we give you a “savage” (or “traveler”) patchport, these crusts can be purchased at a joke store, enclosing in them a piece of paper designed as the first page of a passport with the data and photograph of the birthday person) and we invite you as guests to our place!
(addresses his wife):
Well, you can kiss the tipper, it’s not much use!
(the leader's wife kisses the birthday boy)
Be always, everywhere we go,
We are waiting for you to visit our tribe!
Happy anniversary!
Cool scenarios and scenes for anniversaries and birthdays of men and women, which are always useful for cheerful congratulations at the table.
Most often, skits are needed for performances and at the same time presenting gifts. We have more than 100 types of various congratulatory speeches for different ages: from 18 to 80 years old! But the most popular, of course, are for the 50th, 55th, 60th, 65th, 70th anniversary. There are also mini skits for children's day birth from 1 year to adulthood.
We also offer complete scenarios for holding anniversaries with musical accompaniment, competitions, games, remade songs, ditties and congratulations from guests.
We offer to buy scenes at a price of 49 rubles for a cheerful congratulation:
– a colleague (woman or man);
– girlfriend, friend, colleague;
– close relatives: mother, father, grandmother, grandfather, sister, brother, daughter, son, etc.;
– other relatives: aunt, uncle, mother-in-law, father-in-law, mother-in-law, father-in-law, brother-in-law, godfather, niece, goddaughter;
– retiring or leaving for another job.
There are no such humorous and original miniatures on the Internet; the likelihood that someone will congratulate the hero of the day with the same scene as yours is minimal!
If the sample scripts do not suit you, we will be happy to create a new one for you. original script to order! To do this, write to us by email: ZAKAZ@site
There are different funny scenes with different plots - dramatic, humorous, artistic, etc. Absolutely any plot can be chosen for the skit - from own idea to an existing idea. You can write your own script using your own unique idea or plot. You can write a script for a finished work, a film, a fairy tale, or act out some story.
size>18 Mar 2012
Let's imagine that we are planning a holiday. We will invite friends, acquaintances, relatives and friends to the holiday. In the morning we begin to prepare for the event: cleaning and preparing luxurious treats. And now the guests have arrived, the table is set and after loud toasts and simple conversations it becomes a little boring. How to entertain guests? We can say for sure that everyone has experienced such situations. size>
10 Mar 2012
Are you having a holiday soon? Looking for funny scenes? You want it to be fun, but you don’t know how to prepare holiday program where to find scenes. To prepare for a fun holiday event, people search the Internet for holiday materials. You can, of course, use some congratulations, but we suggest you look at our comic scenes. We compose them ourselves especially for you and your upcoming holiday, or even holidays.
As you have already noticed, there are a lot of skits on the Internet, but they can be hackneyed and not funny. Therefore, we recommend watching only funny skits, then the holiday will be fun. For those who do not understand what a skit is and why it is needed, we will explain. A skit is a small performance (some kind of number) in which you can attract guests or perform alone. Guests can be dressed up in funny clothes, read some toasts, or just joke.
Here you will find only new scenes, especially for any festive event. I would like to note the fact that the site is updated with such materials quite regularly. Why do we try to compose them so often? And you will remember how many holidays there are in the year, how many reasons for fun... And these are: scenes for the anniversary, scenes of congratulations, for February 23, for March 8, children's and school scenes.
Dear friends, use our new funny scenes and you will not have failed holidays, as they will greatly diversify your holiday program, and all guests will have fun.
size>08 Jun 2012
A scene for an anniversary or a man’s birthday “Childhood”
(Childhood runs out skipping - this is a man dressed up as a little boy and sings to the tune of a famous song about childhood):
My childhood, wait,
Don't rush, wait!
Give me a simple answer
What's ahead?!
Dear birthday boy!
The best remedy
Frighten off any attack -
This, of course, goes back to childhood
We must go in immediately!
I'll tell you emphatically:
Everything is forgiven for you today!
Read the continuation of the anniversary scene below
size>08 Jun 2012
(A man comes out - a participant in the scene, dressed in a scarf and an old colorful skirt with a jacket, in his hands he has a basket with drugs and he addresses the birthday boy with the words):
Dear birthday boy!
Even though you look healthy
And I was in good health from childhood,
But still, darling, no offense
Accept these funds as a gift!
I am an expert in healing
And the healer’s secret
I will open it to everyone on their birthday,
There is no more mystery in this!
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02 Jun 2012
Dear birthday girl, dear guests! You've all probably heard the expression: “Why are you walking around with shaggy hair like a shishiga?! Comb your hair!” So, I hasten to please you: just such a client arrived at our birthday girl’s birthday! Meet Shishiga, my friends!
(A participant in the scene comes out dressed as Shishiga; it will be funnier if he is a large man, dressed in a woman’s dress and with very shaggy hair or a shaggy wig.
Shishiga sings to the tune of the song “Longing for the Motherland” from the film. “Seventeen Moments of Spring”)
Read on for the continuation of this scene.
size>27 May 2012
(two participants, dressed in new Russian grandmothers, come out dancing and sing a verse to the tune of ditties):
We neither sow nor plow,
But we don’t sit idle!
On the anniversary we sing and dance,
Let's make birthday people laugh!
Matryona (speaks):
Flower, oh Flower! Why are you so wrinkled today, like a roll of toilet paper?
Flower:
Oh, don’t tell me, Matryona! I didn’t sleep all night, I kept thinking, how better can we congratulate our birthday boy than to please him on such a day?!
Continuation funny scene read further
size>Funny wedding scene
The receptionist reads the text to the newlyweds
Reg: Citizen Markov Ivan Petrovich, do you agree to marry citizen Petrova Lyubov Alexandrovna and live with her in love and harmony until death do you part?
Groom: Yes
Reg: (looking at the bride) Citizen Petrova Lyubov Alexandrovna, do you agree to take as your husband for the sixth time, this time citizen Ivan Petrovich Markov, and live with him, well, I don’t know how you usually live there with your husbands, because that every time some bullshit separates you!
The scene about the museum is also funny
Two people walk around the museum. They stop and start discussing.
How do you like this?
- I think it's great! Look, what lines, what clarity! Brilliant simplicity!
- I don’t argue – it’s drawn skillfully! Where's the signature? Where is the stamp?!
Shot of them both reviewing a fire evacuation plan
Scene - kindergarten
Parent and Educator
R.: Good evening! I'm behind Vadik
V.: Hello! I need to talk to you seriously
R.: What happened?
V.: Your Vadik drew a naked woman during class! Here!!! (holds out watercolor)
R.: ???
V.: This is a disgrace! It's horrible!!!
R.: ...sorry, ...I'll deal with him...!!!
V.: Yes, yes, figure it out! How he draws breasts! Where are the shadows?!! Where are the proportions?!! I’m generally silent about arms and calves!
Scene in flower shop
Buyer: Can you help me choose roses?
Seller: Of course. White ones symbolize love and tenderness. Red – feelings and passion! ...
Buyer: What if they are both red and white?
Seller: Such a bouquet means: “Darling, everything will be! But only after Spartak kicks those suckers over there!”
Cool scene about car mechanics
1st: Not wrinkled, everything shines, goes well, makes almost no noise! And what skin she has!
2nd: Does she know how to cook borscht?
1st: I didn’t ask
Funny scene about doctors
Bank. Currency exchange booth. A woman enters. Turns to the cashier.
J: Hello! What is the chocolate rate today?
K: 7-50 per hundred grams
Zh: Okay, today ten and three cognacs
(the cashier takes chocolate and cognac and counts out the money)
K: Please, here is your money. By the way, Happy Day Medical worker you!
Sketch about cops
Two operas communicate
1st: Seryoga, is there anything to read?
2nd: I’ll take a look now....Have you read Akunin?
1st: Yes, I read all of Akunin
2nd: He writes wonderfully, I agree!
1st: Yes, he can. Is there Ulitskaya?
2nd: No, Vadik took Ulitskaya to read. Pelevin is there.
1st: Is it interesting?
2nd: Well, in general, yes... (holds out a folder with the case) Here, look for yourself
1st: (reads a sheet from the folder) I, Alexander Mikhailovich Pelevin, while drunk, stabbed citizen Uvarova three times...
A skit about a seller and a buyer
The buyer approaches the consultant.
BUYER: Tell me, do you have a book “How to Achieve Success and Influence Others”?
CONSULTANT: She's been gone for a long time
BUYER: And “How to submit a report quickly and get out of work to Zainka”?
CONSULTANT: No. But I can recommend “How to quickly get to the bathhouse on Friday”
BUYER: I'm not interested. Is there a book “How to borrow a couple of pieces and not give them back for a long time”?
CONSULTANT: There is no such thing
BUYER: And “How to meet a girl and bring her home on the first day”?
CONSULTANT: No either.
BUYER: Oh...
CONSULTANT: (interrupts) There is a book “How to get away from a consultant and look for books yourself”
Funny scene about policemen
Employee 1: Where is our tea!? He's a tea leaves! He's Lipton! It's a bag on a string!
Employee 2: It's in the closet! He's "Plywood"! He's the "Dump"! He’s “Finally figure it out”!
Employee: Where's the sugar?! He is “Sweet”, he is “Sticky”, he is “ White Death»!
Employee 2: Today at 9:45 am Moscow time I recorded a lack of sugar. The operational-investigative measures yielded results: the trail leads to the 15th office.
Employee 1: Task force - on the move!
Puts on a mask, takes the sugar bowl and runs out of the room
FUNNY SCENES FROM SCHOOL LIFE
Offered to your attention humorous skits they will not require their performers to memorize large texts (playing the role of a teacher can even use a cheat sheet included in the class magazine), and they will not need special costumes. Rehearsals will take a minimum of time. At the same time, the themes of all the skits are very close to the children. It will be useful for them to look at themselves from the outside, to laugh at their mistakes.
Sketch "Our cases"
(By L. TO Aminsky)
Characters : teacher and student Petrov
Teacher:Petrov, go to the board and write down short story which I will dictate to you.
Studentgoes to the board and gets ready to write.
Teacher (dictates): “Dad and mom scolded Vova for bad behavior. Vova was silent guiltily, and then promised to improve.”
Studentwrites from dictation on the board.
Teacher:Wonderful! Underline all the nouns in your story.
Studentemphasizes the words: “dad”, “mom”, “Vova”, “behaviour”, “Vova”, “promise”.
Teacher:Ready? Determine which cases these nouns are in. Understood?
Student: Yes!
Teacher: Get started!
Student: “Dad and Mom.” Who? What? Parents. This means the case is genitive.
Scolded someone, what? Vova. “Vova” is a name. This means the case is nominative.
Scolded for what? For bad behavior. Apparently he did something. This means that “behavior” has the instrumental case.
Vova was silent guiltily. This means that here “Vova” has the accusative case.
Well, the “promise,” of course, is in the dative case, since Vova gave it!
That's it!
Teacher: Yes, the analysis turned out to be original! Bring me the diary, Petrov. I wonder what mark you would suggest you set for yourself?
Student: Which one? Of course, an A!
Teacher:So, five? By the way, in what case did you name this word - “five”?
Student: In the prepositional form!
Teacher:In the prepositional? Why?
Student : Well, I suggested it myself!
Sketch "Correct answer"
(AND. B utman)
Characters : teacher and student Petrov
Teacher: Petrov, how much will it be: four divided by two?
Student: What should we divide, Mikhail Ivanovich?
Teacher: Well, let's say four apples.
Student: And between whom?
Teacher: Well, let it be between you and Sidorov.
Student: Then three for me and one for Sidorov.
Teacher: Why is this?
Student: Because Sidorov owes me one apple.
Teacher: Doesn’t he owe you a plum?
Student: No, you shouldn’t have plums.
Teacher: Well, how much will it be if four plums are divided by two?
Student: Four. And all to Sidorov.
Teacher: Why four?
Student: Because I don't like plums.
Teacher: Wrong again.
Student: How many is correct?
Teacher: But now I’ll put the correct answer in your diary!
Scene "3=7 and 2=5"
(Newspaper "Primary School", "Mathematics", No. 24, 2002)
Teacher: Well, Petrov? What should I do with you?
Petrov: And what?
Teacher: You didn’t do anything all year, you didn’t study anything. I don’t really know what to put on your report.
Petrov(looking sullenly at the floor): I, Ivan Ivanovich, scientific work was studying.
Teacher: What are you talking about? What kind?
Petrov: I decided that all our mathematics was wrong and... proved it!
Teacher: Well, how, Comrade Great Petrov, did you achieve this?
Petrov: Ah, what can I say, Ivan Ivanovich! It’s not my fault that Pythagoras was wrong and this... Archimedes!
Teacher: Archimedes?
Petrov: And he too, After all, they said that three is only equal to three.
Teacher: What else?
Petrov(solemnly): This is not true! I proved that three equals seven!
Teacher: How is this?
Petrov: But look: 15 -15 = 0. Right?
Teacher: Right.
Petrov: 35 - 35 =0 - also true. So 15-15 = 35-35. Right?
Teacher: Right.
Petrov: We take out the common factors: 3(5-5) = 7(5-5). Right?
Teacher: Exactly.
Petrov: Hehe! (5-5) = (5-5). This is also true!
Teacher: Yes.
Petrov: Then everything is upside down: 3 = 7!
Teacher: Yeah! So, Petrov, we survived.
Petrov: I didn’t want to, Ivan Ivanovich. But you can’t sin against science...
Teacher: It's clear. Look: 20-20 = 0. Right?
Petrov: Exactly!
Teacher: 8-8 = 0 - also true. Then 20-20 = 8-8. Is that also true?
Petrov: Exactly, Ivan Ivanovich, exactly.
Teacher: We take out the common factors: 5(4-4) = 2(4-4). Right?
Petrov: Right!
Teacher: Then that’s it, Petrov, I’ll give you a “2”!
Petrov: For what, Ivan Ivanovich?
Teacher: Don’t be upset, Petrov, because if we divide both sides of the equality by (4-4), then 2=5. Is that what you did?
Petrov: Well, let's say.
Teacher: So I put “2”, who cares. A?
Petrov: No, it doesn’t matter, Ivan Ivanovich, “5” is better.
Teacher: Perhaps it’s better, Petrov, but until you prove this, you will have a D in a year, which, in your opinion, is equal to an A!
Guys, help Petrov .
Scene "Folder under the mouse"
(AND. WITH Emerenko)
Vovka: Listen, I'll tell you a funny story. Yesterday I took the folder by the mouse and went to Uncle Yura, my mother ordered.
Andrey: Ha ha ha! It's really funny.
Vovka(surprised): What's so funny? I haven't even started to tell you yet.
Andrey(laughing): A folder... under your arm! Well thought out. Yes, your folder won’t fit under your arm, he’s not a cat!
Vovka: Why “my folder”? The folder is dad's. You've forgotten how to speak correctly because of laughter, or what?
Andrey: (winking and tapping himself on the forehead): Ah, I guessed it! Grandfather - under the arm! He himself speaks incorrectly, but he also teaches. Now it’s clear: dad’s folder is your grandfather Kolya! In general, it’s great that you came up with this - funny and with a riddle!
Vova(offended): What does my grandfather Kolya have to do with it? I wanted to tell you something completely different. I didn’t listen to the end, but you laugh and get in the way of talking. And he dragged my grandfather under his arm, what a storyteller he was! I'd rather go home than talk to you.
Andrey (to himself, left alone): And why was he offended? For what funny stories tell me if you can’t laugh?
Sketch "At the lessons of natural history"
Characters : teacher and students in class
Teacher:Who can name five wild animals?
Student Petrov reaches out his hand .
Teacher: Answer, Petrov.
Student Petrov: Tiger, tigress and... three tiger cubs.
Teacher: What's happened dense forests? Answer, Kosichkina!
Student Kosichkina : These are the kind of forests in which... it’s good to doze off.
Teacher: Simakova, please name the parts of the flower.
Student Simakova : Petals, stem, pot.
Teacher: Ivanov, please answer us, what benefits do birds and animals bring to humans?
Student Ivanov: Birds peck mosquitoes, and cats catch mice for him.
Teacher: Petrov, what book about famous travelers have you read?
Student Petukhov: "Frog Traveler"
Teacher: Who can answer how the sea differs from a river? Please, Mishkin.
Student Mishkin: The river has two banks, and the sea has one.
Student Zaitsev reaches out his hand .
Teacher: What do you want, Zaitsev? Is there something you want to ask?
Student Zaitsev: Mary Ivanna, is it true that people descended from monkeys?
Teacher: Is it true.
Student Zaitsev: That's what I see: there are so few monkeys!
Teacher: Kozyavin, please answer, what is the life expectancy of a mouse?
Student Kozyavin: Well, Mary Ivanna, it depends entirely on the cat.
Teacher: Meshkov will go to the board and tell us about the crocodile.
Student Meshkov (coming to the blackboard) : The length of the crocodile from head to tail is five meters, and from tail to head - seven meters.
Teacher: Think about what you are saying! Does that really happen?
Student Meshkov: Happens! For example, from Monday to Wednesday - two days, and from Wednesday to Monday - five!
Teacher: Khomyakov, answer me, why do people need a nervous system?
Student Khomyakov: To be nervous.
Teacher: Why do you, Sinichkin, look at your watch every minute?
Student Sinichkin: Because I'm terribly worried that the bell will interrupt an incredibly interesting lesson.
Teacher: Guys, who can answer where the bird is flying with a straw in its beak?
Student Belkov raises his hand higher than everyone else.
Teacher: Try, Belkov.
Student Belkov: To the cocktail bar, Mary Ivanna.
Teacher: Teplyakova, what are the last teeth a person develops?
Student Teplyakova: Inserts, Mary Ivanna.
Teacher: Now I will ask you very difficult question, for the correct answer I will immediately give you an A+. And the question is: “Why is European time ahead of American time?”
Student Klyushkin reaches out his hand .
Teacher: Answer, Klyushkin.
Student Klyushkin : Because America was discovered later!
Sketch "At Math Lessons"
Characters : teacher and students in class
Teacher: Petrov, you can hardly count to ten. I can’t imagine what you can become?
Student Petrov: Boxing judge, Mary Ivanna!
Teacher: Trushkin goes to the board to solve the problem.
Student Trushkingoes to the board.
Teacher: Listen carefully to the statement of the problem. Dad bought 1 kilogram of sweets, and mom bought another 2 kilograms. How many...
Student Trushkinheads towards the door.
Teacher: Trushkin, where are you going?!
Student Trushkin: I ran home, I have candy!
Teacher: Petrov, bring the diary here. I'll put your deuce in it yesterday.
Student Petrov: I don't have one.
Teacher: Where is he?
Student Petrov: And I gave it to Vitka - to scare his parents!
Teacher: Vasechkin, if you have ten rubles and you ask your brother for another ten rubles, how much money will you have?
Student Vasechkin: Ten rubles.
Teacher: You just don’t know math!
Student Vasechkin: No, you don’t know my brother!
Teacher: Sidorov, please answer, what is three times seven?
Student Sidorov: Marya Ivanovna, I will answer your question only in the presence of my lawyer!
Teacher: Why, Ivanov, does your father always do your homework for you?
Student Ivanov: And mom doesn’t have free time!
Teacher: Now solve problem number 125 yourself.
The students get to work .
Teacher: Smirnov! Why are you copying from Terentyev?
Student Smirnov: No, Mary Ivanna, he’s copying it from me, and I’m just checking to see if he did it correctly!
Teacher: Guys, who is Archimedes? Answer, Shcherbinina.
Shcherbinin's student : This is a mathematical Greek.
Sketch "At Russian language lessons"
Characters : teacher and students in class
Teacher: Let's hear how you learned your homework. Whoever answers first will receive a higher point.
Student Ivanov(pulls out his hand and shouts): Mary Ivanna, I will be the first, give me three at once!
Teacher: Your essay about a dog, Petrov, is word for word similar to Ivanov’s essay!
Student Petrov: Mary Ivanna, Ivanov and I live in the same yard, and there we have one dog for all of us!
Teacher: You, Sidorov, have a wonderful essay, but why isn’t it finished?
Student Sidorov: But because dad was urgently called to work!
Teacher: Koshkin, admit it, who wrote your essay?
Student Koshkin: Don't know. I went to bed early.
Teacher: And as for you, Klevtsov, let your grandfather come to see me tomorrow!
Student Klevtsov: Grandfather? Maybe dad?
Teacher: No, grandfather. I want to show him what gross mistakes his son makes when he writes an essay for you.
Teacher: What kind of word is “egg”, Sinichkin?
Student Sinichkin: None.
Teacher: Why?
Student Sinichkin: Because it is not known who will hatch from it: a rooster or a chicken.
Teacher: Petushkov, determine the gender of the words: “chair”, “table”, “sock”, “stocking”.
Student Petushkov: “Table”, “chair” and “sock” are masculine, and “stocking” is feminine.
Teacher: Why?
Student Petushkov: Because only women wear stockings!
Teacher: Smirnov, go to the board, write down and analyze the sentence.
Student Smirnov goes to the blackboard .
The teacher dictates and the student writes down : “Dad went to the garage.”
Teacher: Ready? We are listening to you.
Student Smirnov: Dad is the subject, gone is the predicate, to the garage is ... a preposition.
Teacher: Who, guys, can come up with a sentence with homogeneous members?
Student Tyulkina reaches out her hand .
Teacher: Please, Tyulkina.
Student Tyulkina : There were no trees, bushes, or grass in the forest.
Teacher: Sobakin, come up with a sentence with the numeral “three”.
Student Sobakin: My mother works at a knitting factory.
Teacher: Rubashkin, go to the board and write down the sentence.
Student Rubashkin goes to the blackboard .
Teacher dictates: The guys were catching butterflies nets.
Student Rubashkin writes : The guys were catching butterflies with glasses.
Teacher: Rubashkin, why are you so inattentive?
Student Rubashkin: And what?
Teacher: Where have you seen bespectacled butterflies?
Teacher: Meshkov, what part of speech is the word “dry”?
Student Meshkov stood up and remained silent for a long time. .
Teacher: Well, think about it, Meshkov, what question does this word answer?
Student Meshkov: What kind? Dryish!
Teacher: Antonyms are words that are opposite in meaning. For example, fat - thin, cry - laugh, day - night. Petushkov, now give me your example.
Student Petushkov: Cat - dog.
Teacher: What does “cat - dog” have to do with it?
Student Petushkov: Well, how about that? They are opposites and often fight with each other.
Teacher: Sidorov, why do you eat apples in class?
Student Sidorov: It’s a pity to waste time during recess!
Teacher: Stop it now! By the way, why weren't you at school yesterday?
Student Sidorov: My older brother got sick.
Teacher: What do you have to do with it?
Student Sidorov: And I rode his bike!
Teacher: Sidorov! My patience has run out! Don't come to school tomorrow without your father!
Student Sidorov: And the day after tomorrow?
Teacher: Sushkina, come up with a proposal with an appeal.
Sushkina's student: Mary Ivanna, call!
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